The lost princess
by Queen of everything pineapple
Summary: this is NOT a fairy tale!no parings no A/H either! when a beautiful but annoying self claimed princess turns up on Artemis' doors things are boud to happen,first how does a missing elf know his name? or his relations with the people?


**Artemis Fowl: The Lost Princess**

**Fowl Manor, Dublin**

A tall, elight, graceful figure stood in front of the imposing gates of Fowl Manor. She looked up, with only pride and determination in her dark brown eyes. She did not call or knock: her presence was enough to attract attention.

Butler noticed her and swivelled the camera to get a better view. She was wearing clothes out of a fairytale, as if a real Fairy had stepped out of a book to come to their abode (a possibility that always loomed, with Artemis Fowl, in the near future). She wore a hooded, brown cloak that was slightly muddy and had seen some wear and tear, and Butler glimpsed a dark green fabric underneath it: most likely a dress.

_Show me your face,_ Butler thought, and as if she knew what Butler wanted, she lifted her hood. The first thing that Butler saw was her raven-black hair – slightly out of place (she must have not had an opportunity to arrange herself for a long time) and the gold, strange V-shaped tiara at her forehead. She stood waiting patiently at the door and brushed her hair behind her ears.

They were pointed.

_Fairy_, thought Butler, and hit the 'open' button.

The gates opened silently and she glided in. Many individuals who stepped in were frightened, imagining they were stepping to their doom – which they so often were – but she was fearless. Putting her hood back on, she made her way across. The gardeners cutting the hedges paused and watched this inconspicuous figure.

"_Go back to your work,"_ she said. Her voice was like honey, even without the _mesmer_. A small smirk played around her lips: she was proud of her gifts, annoyingly proud even. The gardeners, awestruck, returned to their gardening, although it seemed meaningless: nobody would care about the state of the garden if she wasn't in it.

A sapphire butterfly followed her, fluttering closely behind her. She reached the front doors of the Manor, smiled in a strained way, swayed and then collapsed at Artemis' doorstep.

Butler switched on a com to Artemis' room.

_Fairy down,_ he thought.

Artemis leaned in and inspected his painting, tapping the end of his paintbrush on his teeth. Then he added a tint of green to the underside of the cloud. He mixed a little yellow with gold in his pallet and outlined the sun, stroking the canvas delicately, lightly, teasingly, with the posture of a real artist.

The com linked to his room switched on and Butler's voice emitted from the speakers. "There's a fairy at our front door."

"What?" Artemis laid down his paints and dashed down the stairs. Presumably, if it was a fairy that they knew, Butler would have said so. Thinking back, perhaps dashing down to meet a fairy may not have been the best idea: but he had a vague thought crossing his mind. He was, after all, a genius. Most likely it was some member of the LEP come to beg his help on the Koboi case.

Tossing his apron on the chair, he jumped the last two stairs, ran across the hallway and opened the door. Such lack of decorum was uncharacteristic for him, but Koboi was a serious hazard to the world.

There was a figure sprawled across the floor: not quite what he had been expecting. He checked her ears: they were the genuine article. Soft, too: it couldn't be Koboi in a different skin. "_I hereby give permission for you to enter this dwelling,"_ he murmured. He scooped up the unconscious body and walked back to his room, wondering absent-mindedly what anyone would say if they saw him carrying what appeared to be a dead lady's corpse. He did not have to wonder, for Myles spotted him on his way.

"Mother! Artemis got a girlfriend!"

_Girlfriend?_ thought Artemis. _Certainly not. In any case, it is rather unflattering that little Myles thinks that the only 'girlfriend' it is possible for me to get is an unconscious one._

"Don't be silly, Myles," said Angeline, starting to turn around. Artemis made a dash for the stairs without much success: he had a person in his arms, after all.

"Arty," said his mother accusingly, "I will meet you in your room in five minutes, and I want an explanation."

Artemis shuddered and continued up the stairs. There was no longer any reason to lie to his mother, but involving her in all of his schemes felt...strange. Ah, well. That was a matter that could wait. Firstly, he had to find out about this fairy friend.

He deposited her on his bed and collapsed next to her, completely worn out. He resolved to actually exercise for once, though given his past record he doubted that he would ever do so.

He spoke into his ring, asking for a visual of no less than Captain Holly Short. Her face came up on the wall, one eye raven-blue, one eye chocolate brown, both eyes sparkling with genuine happiness.

"Artemis?" she inquired.

"Hello, Holly," he replied nervously. Talking to someone who you shared eyes with was rather unnerving. It was ridiculous; they had been friends for so many years, and now he couldn't look her in his eye. Which, now he came to think about it, made no sense whatsoever.

"Artemis! How nice!" exclaimed Holly, a smile spreading over her face. "How are you doing? You still look pale enough to be a vampire."

"Over here, vampires are deemed incredibly handsome creatures," Artemis interjected. "Have you ever heard of 'Twilight" the international bestseller Novel?"

"Over here, they don't exist," Holly shot back. "So, what's the reason for the call? You never come just to chat."

"I found an Elf turning up at my front door," Artemis told her.

He was not expecting disbelief. Holly started laughing in his face, which he found rather off-putting. The only way to get people to believe you was to lie. Artemis was much better at lying than telling the truth.

"What sort of elf would visit you, Artemis Fowl, quite possibly the scariest Mud Boy on the freakin' land of Mud?"

"See for yourself," said Artemis, aiming the camera in the Lady's face. Holly's eyes widened and she leaned in. Artemis found the mismatched eyes quite frightening.

"No...That's impossible! That's...that's...she went missing, years ago!"

"Who?"

"Foaly! FOALY!" shouted Holly.

Artemis' laptop switched itself on. An image of Foaly appeared on screen.

"Silence, Short!"

"Don't you quote Commander Root at me!"

It appeared that Holly was finally adjusting to his death.

Artemis watched with amusement as his laptop and bedroom wall began an epic argument. "Calm down, both of you," he snapped at them.

The two stopped squabbling.

"Thank you! Now will you please tell me what's going on?"

Foaly coughed, ready for a long speech.

"Well if you really want to know. The elf you have lying next to you is her royal Highness Princess Arlina Frond of the people. She was – is – rumoured to have legendary power in magic. She went missing a few hundred years ago, on her way back from a visit to get the Crown of Avalia: a traditional elfin tiara – that one she's wearing, right there.

"Unfortunately, your little Mud Men species got into a rather big fight. Everyone thought that she was dead."

Artemis glanced at the V-shaped tiara Arwen was wearing.

"I was said that the Emerald on it was cursed and will cause only pain and misery. Cheery, isn't it? The Emerald of Ophelia, it's called. Oh, what wonderful stories our legendary friends dream up."

"They may not be stories, Foaly." Artemis watched the jewel sparkle in the sun.

Arlina stirred. Her eyes rolled in their sockets.

"Arty..." she muttered.

_Arty? _ thought Artemis. _How does an elf from the past know my nickname?_

He reached out with a hand to stroke her cheek subconsciously. The fingers touched smooth flesh. She was beautiful, with an enchanting aura, but something about her felt strange, wrong, flawed in some way...She was too perfect. And as everyone knows, true perfection doesn't exist.

Arwen opened her eyes and without thinking fished out Defence move #18 , named 'Fling, Fling, Peridition' which meant catching the enemy's hand, pulling them closer and punching them under the collar bone: effective, but painless.

Artemis landed with an 'oof' at the foot of his bed. He glared at the too-pretty, too-right princess, but was distracted by the silver sword gently inching towards his throat. Arlina wielded the hilt expertly.

"Princess Arlina Frond, state your name." Her voice was clear and musical, as if she was using the mesmer. She looked down her perfectly balanced nose at him. Artemis felt dizzy from her beauty. Such an overwhelming sense of it...she really was perfection itself. With a heap of pride accompanying it, of course.

"Herm, herm!" she coughed.

Artemis' eyes narrowed. For now, he had no option but to accept her flawlessness. He could always ponder afterwards. He allowed his brilliant mind to rest and his instincts took over.

"Erm...Artemis Fowl, at your service...milady."

Holly giggled. She disliked this Arlina Frond, who waltzed into Artemis' life with her pride and her talent, but she had never expected Artemis to react..._this_ way. Perhaps even genii appeared to have flaws. "Psst. Foaly! Did you get that on tape?" asked Holly.

"Yep, and we're still filming," Foaly retorted. "Also there's a full Retrieval team coming out to get the little princess."

"I am not little!" screamed Arlina. It seemed that she wasn't perfection after all. Beautiful, talented, with a dangerously short fuse and a mountain of pride...If Artemis' mind had been working at full capacity, he may have had suspected her of being the second Koboi in disguise. Holly knew what she was thinking.

"Retrieval? For an elf that could have died centuries ago?"

"Excuse me?" the princess blinked. "I will have you know, I am the single most important fairy that has ever walked on this earth. And I am alive as alive can possibly be."

"You've already sent Retrieval out? S***!" swore Artemis. "What will happen to my fami-"

WHACK! Artemis got slapped across the face.

"Ow...what was that for?"

"No swearing is tolerated in my presence," said Arlina. Holly frowned. She really disliked this Wonder Princess who was so full of ego and talk.

"Apologies. I was most inconsiderate," said Artemis. Unfortunately, charm is not as effective when one eye is hazel and one is blue.

"Oh, you're so charming, all in a sudden."

"I apologise my lady. 'Twas a great mistake of mine to be inconsiderate in thine presence. I do beg for your forgiveness."

"You are forgiven." Arlina offered her hand to Artemis, and he took it. She helped him up, but this was not Artemis' lucky day: his laser pointer had fallen out of his pocket, and in rising, he stepped on it, causing himself to lose his balance. So Artemis slipped and grabbed Arlina to steady himself, but Arlina was caught off guard and crashed into the bed, dragging Artemis with her.

Princess Arlina was caught under the weight of Artemis, her wrists locked under Artemis' hands in the fall. His face was an inch away from her own. Driven by his instincts, tainted by puberty, he leaned down and kissed her. Foaly and Holly were both in shock: Artemis Fowl, kissing an elfish princess? Where was the child genius they had come to know and hate?

Magic sparks exploded across the room, bathing them in a golden corona.

They drew away, or more accurately, Artemis drew away. Arlina screamed the first things that came to her head.

"Swine! Harlot! How dare you! How _dare _you!"

"Huh?...no!...that was a misunderstanding!"

Arlina threw Artemis to the side and stepped in front of the laptop.

"Centaur! I wish to be removed from these premises immediately! That – that retrieval team, or whatever, send them over immediately! Tell them to step on it! And get me away from this...this...this multi-eye-coloured PSYCHOPATH!" Arlina wiped her lips. with a hanky then tossed it in the nearest bin.

"I am not a psychopath!" defended Artemis. "Although that first adjective was both nonexistent and true!"

"Arty? Is everything alright?" asked his mother's voice from outside. Artemis was caught off guard. "I just wondered if your friend wanted some refreshments."

The door opened and Mrs. Fowl entered with a silver tray containing three glasses of smoothies and a plate of fairy cakes.

"Hello! You must be Artemis' friend!" exclaimed Angeline. "Well," said Angeline to Artemis. "Aren't you going to introduce us?"

"Well...Mother, this is Princess Arlina Frond. Arlina...this is my mother," said Artemis. _Play along_ his face said.

Arwen dropped a curtsy. Holly noted bitterly how quickly her selfish exterior fell away.

"Lady Fowl!? I've heard so much about you!" she exclaimed.

"Oh really?" said Angeline.

Arwen helped Angeline with the tray, smiling innocently.

"I must say your Artemis was _~quite _a handful, Lady Fowl!"

"Oh, in what way?"

Artemis crept over to the computer and typed as quietly as he could, 'HELP'

_Now, why would I do that?_ Was the flippant reply. _This little show is the only thing keeping me going right now._

"Artemis, what are you doing?" his mother snapped. "You have a guest! Be more courteous!"

"I'll be right there, Mother."

'FOALY, HELP PLEASE!'

"Arty?!" his mother called.

"Yes, Mother, I'm coming!" With a scowl at Foaly he left to join the pair.

"So," demanded Angeline, "How long have you known each other?"

"A short while, I suppose," said Arlina, sipping a strawberry smoothie. "Although I already know what I think of your son -"

"Arlina and I met under unlikely circumstances," interrupted Artemis. "That is all you need to know, Mother."

Angeline Fowl frowned at her son, before turning to Arlina. "Dear, I really must suggest you remove your cloak in this heat..."

"If you insist, Lady Fowl... Your wish is my command."

Her hands went to the clasp at her throat and with a click it slid off her body. Underneath the brown cloak she was wearing a strapless, medieval-style green dress with gossamer sleeves. She twisted around to hang her cloak on the chair and Artemis choked on his smoothie. On her back, between her shoulder blades, where there was no back material, was a pair of gossamer wings.

_Before evolution stripped the power of flight_, thought Artemis.

"What...pretty wings you have," said Artemis' mother.

"Oh, thank you, Lady Fowl, aren't they delightful?"

"Oh, stop being so formal...call me Mother," said Angeline.

Arlina glanced at Artemis who fell out of his chair.

_I guess she can't be Koboi if she has those...unless...maybe they're fake in some way? They are very beautiful...perhaps they're just for show..._

"Arty?!" exclaimed Angeline, "Look at you! Finally getting a girlfriend and here you are falling off chairs! Disgraceful!"

"It's alright," said Arlina. "Artemis' clumsiness is part of his nature. I will permit it."

"If you say so my dear..." said Angeline.

"Oh, yes, mother," said Arlina.

"Oh! You just called me mother! My dear, my dear, you would make a lovely daughter. Oh, I must go and tell Timmy!" And with that she dashed out.

"Just so you know, we will never ever be married, never, ever ,never ever" said Arlina, helping him up.

"Yeah," said Artemis, choking. Arlina cleared his throat with a spark of magic.

"One – I'm engaged already. Two – I really need to get out of here. Three – If you ever fall off your chair in my presence again, I will personally have to slaughter you."

"The Retrieval team should be coming along," Artemis said, ignoring her last clause. He really did not know what to make of this fairy princess.

Arlina looked out of the nearest window.

"They are already here," said Princess Arlina.

Artemis walked up next to her; the lawn was empty.

"Can you see them?" asked Arlina.

"No," said Artemis. Arlina turned to look at him.

"Close your eyes," she said.

Artemis did, and felt Arlina's hands on his face. A scent of jasmine floated across his nose. Arlina brushed her thumbs on Artemis' eyelids. A sparkle of magic appeared.

Gently Arlina turned him to the lawn.

"Open your eyes," whispered Arlina in his ear.

Artemis did and took a step back. On the lawn were three shuttles. Dozens of LEP rookies filed out.

Their Neutrinos pointed at him.

"Oh dear," said Artemis.

"Oh dear hardly covers it," said Arlina. "You are so pathetic, Artemis Fowl. Speechless in the face of a slightest danger. Honestly."

Commander Trouble Kelp walked out of the shuttle and faced them. Arlina opened the third storey window and jumped out, landing on the grass lightly.

"Drop your guns," commanded Arlina. They blinked at her, unsure. "Please," she added, batting her lashes.

All of the rookies did. Boys will be boys. None of them noticed the smirk on her face.

"Commander Trouble Kelp," said Princess Arlina.

"How did you know?" he asked.

"I read your name tag," said Arlina. "Obviously. How low has the average IQ dropped since I was last here?"

"Lady Arlina-"

"Princess," she corrected. "Princess Arlina _Frond_."

"Princess Arlina, you surprise us with your presence."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, appearing to none other than Artemis Fowl."

"Are you jealous?"

"Hardly, but of all the people why him?"

"An interesting question."

"He hardly knows you."

"Incorrect, Commander Kelp. He just hasn't met me yet."

"What?"

"I am from the past, yes, before evolution changed us and limited the magic and the power of flight and even your size. I was, as our race was, part Mud Man, as I hate to admit it. I am a hundred and one and will grow old like a human if I wished."

"Really?" shouted Artemis from his bedroom window, leaning out, a little too far.

"Artemis, you fool!" shouted Arwen. "Careful!"

Then he lost his balance and fell.

Faster than lightning, Arwen was below the window. With one jump she caught Artemis in mid-air and landed lightly.

"I suppose I owe you for allowing me in. No longer," she told him and dropped him on the floor, or grass.

"Are you coming with us?" asked Commander Kelp.

"I'm staying on earth, not under it. If my seer's eye are correct, which it always is, she is going to escape right...now."

Commander Kelp's phone rang.

"Hello?" he answered

"Who's going to escape?" inquired Artemis from the grass.

"Opal Koboi."

"WHAT?! Koboi has escaped from Atlantis?!" scremad kelp

"Of course. What did I tell you? How could you possibly doubt me?"

Artemis sat up tugging Arlina 's skirt. She bent down so that he could whisper in her ear.

"Erm. How did she escape?"

"Her other self slipped sedatives in the guard's tea and impersonated one of the guards, creating a shell with magic."

Artemis moaned. "How many times must I save the world from this lunatic?"

Arwen looked at him. "Would you feel better if you had magic?"

"If magic will help, I'm no match for Opal's powers."

"Yes, you are not," said Arlina, "but I am."

"What?" he whispered.

"Shooting lightning bolts are not beyond my powers. I am, after all, descendent of King Frond. There is nothing beyond my superior reach. I can even open the time stream."

"Is that how you came?"

"Yes, I sent a note to myself."

"But, but..."

"Quiet," she said, a delicate finger on his lips.

Commander Kelp watched, half amused, still mad about Opal's escape. Arlina closed her eyes and focused all her power into one spot – the air before her. Son a beach ball of golden light gathered. Everyone watched, entranced: then she opened her eyes, her irises a sharp green colour. Arwen took Artemis' hand and her knife. Cutting across his palm, she chanted:

_From the earth thine power flows_

_Given through courtesy_

_So thanks are owed._

_A brave heart of a valiant Prince_

_Though ordinary he may be,_

_Where the past is future and Destiny_

_By blood, earth, sap and bone_

_Where I accept him as our own,_

_By blood and sap you are bound_

_To the book of the People, you found_

_Ten times Ten Commandments there be_

_They will answer every mystery_

_Curses, curses, alchemy,_

_So make it be._

And with that she leaned down and kissed the cut, and tasted the blood. _Yuck!_ Thought Arlina and had to stop herself from being sick, but the effect was immediate: the ball of power surged and flowed through the cut and sealed the cut after itself. A golden corona bathed the both of them in its light. It faded, sparks humming on Artemis' fingers. He noticed how fragile Arlina looked and was about to give her a magical booster when Commander Kelp exploded.

"No, NO! That is impossible! I refuse to accept Artemis as one of us!"

"Impossible, hardly. Commander, what is done, is done," said Artemis.

"There are laws against this, somewhere..."

Arlina raised her eyebrow. "Laws? I am a time traveller. Even if I am an elf, I am not governed by your laws, but by the ones in my time, and back then I _make_ the laws, dear Commander. I could have you executed on the spot. Or hanged, or boiled, or other things I could have done but I won't care to mention because I 'm in polite company"

"But...but..."

"Opal Koboi has escaped, and there are two of them in the equation. May I remind you who defeated her before, and before that, andbefore that? Now, I need to replenish my magic." Holding up a palm – without the knife – an acorn appeared in her hand.

"I thought it needed to be from a river bend?" quipped Artemis.

"It is. I summoned it with magic, not made it. I thought you were meant to be an expert on the People."

"I see," said Artemis. Her streak of pride was _really_ annoying him.

"Miss Frond, you are under arrest of legitimation of the LEP."

"Princess," corrected Arlina.

"Princess, you are under arrest..."

"Commander Kelp, you will be executed, so you would do well to listen," she overruled him, a snakiest smile playing over her face. "I will go with you," said Arlina.

Commander Kelp sighed with relief.

"Under one condition."

Trouble quailed. "What?"

"I challenge your boys to hand on hand combat, without magic. If you win I'll come quietly; if I win I'll stay with Artemis. You can summon us if you need a plan against Koboi."

Commander Kelp thought about it: it was a win-win situation.

"Deal," he said and stepped back. Fifteen Retrieval officers removed their equipment and piled it in a neat pile at the back _there is no way she can win _thought Commander kelp.

Big mistake.

Arlina unzipped a specially tooled zip on her dress leaving a knee lenth slit in the fabric.

the team gathered in the in the space, arms in a defensive pose Arlina used magic to cut her dress to between her knee and ankle ,showing a pair of what looked like glass slippers.

"glass slippers?" _how Quaint_ thought Artemis

"diamond Actually" said Arlina

"ready?" called commander kelp

"oh yes" answered Arlina and cart wheeled acrossed the lawn landing lightly on her dainty feet casually throwing two elves in the Lavender bushes, gliding in to splits, punching two more, then rolling over swinging her legs ,tackling five more, she landed crouching, sending two more in to a patch of thistles.

_Outch, that would hurt thought_ Artemis

then grabbing the outstretched fists and knocked their heads together comically, the last two was left Arlina straightened dusted the grass off her dress , straightened her wings and soothed a wisp of black hair out of her delicate face, one fell on the floor faking it, the other stood Quivering. Arlina smiled her perfect smile.

" report to your Commander Troupes status"

"ye.. yes Ma'am!" he stuttered.

Commander kelps Jaws dropped. A full retrieval team under five minutes ,he really hoped no one recorded this.

Arlina tossed her hair over her shoulders expertly, the walked over to where Artemis was standing, phone out recording it all,

"nice Gymnastics "He commented _and also great legs _he thought

"thanks , I used have to sneak out of the castle A lot"

"well done Arlina hime" said Artemis in Japanese.

"thank you Artemis Kun" Replied Arlina

Commander passed out in despair.

Artemis sent the Video to Foaly.


End file.
